How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Toddler Sleep Inertia

OK, maybe “love” is a bit of an overstatement.

My in-laws brought the boys home yesterday afternoon. My toddler had fallen asleep in the car, like he often does on the 40-minute drive from their house to ours. He usually wakes up in our driveway disoriented and tantrum-prone. But yesterday was the worst I’d ever seen him.


What You’ll Find Within

This is a place of failed experiments and half-finished thoughts.

It’s home to scribbles, sloppy handwriting, spilled coffee, grease stains, pressed flowers and other inclusions that may make the page buckle and warp.

Contents may also contain:

  • Crabbiness
  • Cutesiness
  • Shoddy sentence construction
  • Doomed attempts at perfection
  • Unfunny jokes
  • Sex
  • Adverbs
  • Abandoned projects
  • Unfinished drafts
  • Undotted eyes
  • Freudian slips
  • Streams of consciousness
  • Repetition
  • Hypocrisy
  • Rehashing the same stupid drama over and over again

This product has been manufactured in a facility that also processes:

dreams, goals, dashed expectations, irrational fears, bad smells and decay, beliefs unbacked by science, confidence, contradiction, imperfection, unfinished business, leaving and coming back.

This product is certified free from serial commas, semi-colons, spon-con and self-censorship. (It may contain up to 6% chocolate.)

Consumers who are not completely satisfied for any reason may return this product for a full refund of purchase price, or start their own blog.